SEPTEMBER SEVEN
Wednesday saw another wonderful meeting with seven of us present: Bob, Margaret, Gemma, Jim, Jason, Ron and myself.
Bob has recently read a book called “Sweet Francaise”, about WWII in France. The author died before she finished the book, and the daughter later had it published. But the author had left notes on changes she wanted to make to her manuscript and they were included in the published version as a 16 page appendix. Now that is due diligence as an author, making notes on changes that should be made.
Margaret read her first chapter in her new book, “Coffin and Dye”. These two characters in later life meet up in a fish and chip shop and recall their school days together. We learn Detective Coffin is a widower and that Sir Donald Dye banishes ghosts. The two begin to chat about working together.
Gemma read a personal piece called “Collateral Damage”, about how she incurred her current injuries. She was walking Heidi on a leash when two other dogs approached aggressively and in the turmoil, Gemma still held the leash and ended up on the ground, with back injuries and dog bites. She is slowly recovering and will submit this piece to Today’s Senior Newsmagazine. So keep your eye out for it.
Jim read a revision of “Dimensions”, which he intends to submit to Writers’ Digest Short Story Contest. Some of us made suggestions and Jim has since rewritten again and sent us his 6th draft. The piece has really taken shape.
Ron read Chapter 2 of his novel. We see Joseph deciding to go with other friends to town to meet with an Agent from the North Atlantic Trading Co., who was recruiting immigrants to Canada. The group left early in the morning and walked 4 hours to town. They went first to view the Palace, and became upset with the disparity between rich and poor. In unison, they all peed on the fence.
Jason read us the end section of Chapter 2, still at the funeral reception in the backyard. A stranger with a German accent tells the boys he wants to show them something. Greg follows the stranger, and Dave unwillingly follows his brother. The stranger goes to his car parked on the road, a 1972 Olds Delta 88. He gives the boys a key and tells them to beware the dragon. We tend to feel this is the real beginning of the story as the action draws us right in at this point. Jason said with many rejections already received he needed to rethink his story.
I read the beginning chapter of my new novel, which I’m calling “Murder” as the working title. The first chapter is mostly background info to show setting and main characters from the previous novel now here in this one. But there is mention of a rapist, twice, which is where the mystery begins. I had some interesting experiences doing research. Wanting to know when the MSA News of Abbotsford changed its name to Abbotsford News, I called the paper. Can you believe it? Nobody there could tell me. I then went to the FVR Library and “Ask A Librarian” online. They got back to me the next day. Also wanting to get some info on restoration procedures for smoke damage, I called Edenvale Restoration. They told me to call their head office in Toronto. So I went online and found the info I wanted from another company. Another question I had was where would a seventeen year old from Abbotsford be held in custody after being charged with an offence. Since he was injured before that, I also wanted to know if he would have had a police guard in hospital. My brother put me in touch with a court clerk who canvassed several JPs and co-workers to get me the answers. I have now organized a 3” binder to hold all the pieces I am collecting for this latest literary endeavor.
Susan recently had an article in St. John’s Telegram about the Terry Fox Run, and will have another one on the collapse of the Berlin Wall published soon. She has also sent out two simultaneous submissions for her young adult novel “Geofind”. If you ever want to know anything about Newfoundland, ask Susan. She’s our East Coast Correspondent.
Members present on Wednesday were saying they find it hard to critique effectively without the written version to look at, and would also appreciate having time beforehand to read the pieces being read. Consequently, they have asked that those planning to read please email their chosen writings to them ahead of time. Can that be done?
Next meeting will be at 7:00 p.m., Wednesday, October 7th, here at my place. Really look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
THE REVIEW
ADVERSARIAL ADVERBS
Jason, Ron, Bob, Jim, Danny and Margaret all joined me Wednesday night for another awesome meeting. They just keep getting better and better, both the meetings and the writers. Unfortunately, Gemma was unable to join us as she is recovering from injuries recently suffered handling her dog. Bob and Jim returned copies of her manuscript after reading it, and I have those copies here. We hope Gemma is feeling better and will be able to join us again soon.
I started the meeting with my latest news. My short story, “His Rant”, was short-listed in the Polar Expressions contest, and consequently will be included in their anthology “Beneath The Canopy”. This story was written several years ago when we were drawing weekly writing prompts from The Bucket, and this prompt was about somebody living over a 3-car garage. I tweaked it so the word count worked for the contest, and there you have it. Don’t throw out anything you write. You never know when some opportunity may arise for submitting it.
Margaret read the Epilogue from “Blow Up The Castle”, which tells us what happened to the three reverends after 1936. During WWII and after, their lives changed considerably. Rev. Peabody and Marie married and went to live with his nephew Hamish, in the castle. Rev. Peasly emigrated to Canada after Barker died. And Rev. Peacock, Marigold, and Joey the parrot moved to the seaside. All three reverends passed away on the same day. And those walking the beach can still hear Joey calling “Blow up the castle!”
Danny read his chapter “Did It Hurt Right Away?” While working the Nascar infield, Danny suffered a badly broken left foot when a 400 lb. battleaxe (I don’t know what that is?) fell on it. This chapter gave us very graphic descriptions of the pain and gory medical procedures when the bones became infected. Fortunately, Danny still has his foot, attached to his leg, that is.
Ron read us his Chapter 1, where we are introduced to Joseph and his wife, Julia, in Hungary. They are farmers, in their fifties, with five children aged 12 to 21. Although they own some land of their own, they work for a large farm to earn enough to support themselves. We see them cutting the grain with scythes, the method of harvest at that time. But Joseph is told there won’t be much work the coming year, as the large farm is bringing in machinery to do what many men did by hand. That’s when the decision is made to emigrate to Canada, where free land is being offered.
Jason read us Chapter 3 of his novel. The setting is the reception after the funeral. The father removes himself from the crowd and sits alone. Laura plays hostess to a number of elderly friends of the deceased. The two sons behave like typical teenaged boys. Greg is snarky to his father. Dave criticizes him. The two argue. Greg is hot for Jody, a neighbourhood girl, and he asks her if she believes in heaven. This is a difficult question for her as her parents are both dead. The two wrestle, but Dave interrupts them. This chapter shows us more of the family dynamics.
Jim shared with us five different drafts of the same sentence, where he was trying to eliminate adverbs. The original sentence was: When she quickly turned her head, her hair seemed to stretch and elongate then as quickly return to its tightly packed state as her curls fought centrifugal force. The final sentence read: With each quick turn of the head, her hair stretched and elongated then snapped back to its original state. What a process rewriting can be! We agreed maybe we should all go and read some Hemingway to learn about succinct condensation of verbiage. Jim admitted he had just reread “The Old Man And The Sea”. Hilarious. The following is Jim’s journaling about being plagued by adverbs:
Adverbs are my enemy! As soon as I wrestle one to the ground there is another before me, taunting. It is a never-ending fight and I tire of the battle. What else can I do? I struggle on and on, forcing one to submit and then another.
One day I will defeat them! I will complete a manuscript barren of the (bloody) buggers. Then I will laugh at them, when I have faced them all down.
Right on, Jim. We’re all behind you!
Bob didn’t have time to write anything between baseball games, but he kindly fixed glasses of ice water, and served cookies and banana bread for me. He is always a help in that department. Many thanks.
And thanks to all those who donated for the domain name. Much appreciated.
Next meeting will be here at my place at 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 16th. Hope to see you then, and by all means, bring your Muse.
Lisa
Jason, Ron, Bob, Jim, Danny and Margaret all joined me Wednesday night for another awesome meeting. They just keep getting better and better, both the meetings and the writers. Unfortunately, Gemma was unable to join us as she is recovering from injuries recently suffered handling her dog. Bob and Jim returned copies of her manuscript after reading it, and I have those copies here. We hope Gemma is feeling better and will be able to join us again soon.
I started the meeting with my latest news. My short story, “His Rant”, was short-listed in the Polar Expressions contest, and consequently will be included in their anthology “Beneath The Canopy”. This story was written several years ago when we were drawing weekly writing prompts from The Bucket, and this prompt was about somebody living over a 3-car garage. I tweaked it so the word count worked for the contest, and there you have it. Don’t throw out anything you write. You never know when some opportunity may arise for submitting it.
Margaret read the Epilogue from “Blow Up The Castle”, which tells us what happened to the three reverends after 1936. During WWII and after, their lives changed considerably. Rev. Peabody and Marie married and went to live with his nephew Hamish, in the castle. Rev. Peasly emigrated to Canada after Barker died. And Rev. Peacock, Marigold, and Joey the parrot moved to the seaside. All three reverends passed away on the same day. And those walking the beach can still hear Joey calling “Blow up the castle!”
Danny read his chapter “Did It Hurt Right Away?” While working the Nascar infield, Danny suffered a badly broken left foot when a 400 lb. battleaxe (I don’t know what that is?) fell on it. This chapter gave us very graphic descriptions of the pain and gory medical procedures when the bones became infected. Fortunately, Danny still has his foot, attached to his leg, that is.
Ron read us his Chapter 1, where we are introduced to Joseph and his wife, Julia, in Hungary. They are farmers, in their fifties, with five children aged 12 to 21. Although they own some land of their own, they work for a large farm to earn enough to support themselves. We see them cutting the grain with scythes, the method of harvest at that time. But Joseph is told there won’t be much work the coming year, as the large farm is bringing in machinery to do what many men did by hand. That’s when the decision is made to emigrate to Canada, where free land is being offered.
Jason read us Chapter 3 of his novel. The setting is the reception after the funeral. The father removes himself from the crowd and sits alone. Laura plays hostess to a number of elderly friends of the deceased. The two sons behave like typical teenaged boys. Greg is snarky to his father. Dave criticizes him. The two argue. Greg is hot for Jody, a neighbourhood girl, and he asks her if she believes in heaven. This is a difficult question for her as her parents are both dead. The two wrestle, but Dave interrupts them. This chapter shows us more of the family dynamics.
Jim shared with us five different drafts of the same sentence, where he was trying to eliminate adverbs. The original sentence was: When she quickly turned her head, her hair seemed to stretch and elongate then as quickly return to its tightly packed state as her curls fought centrifugal force. The final sentence read: With each quick turn of the head, her hair stretched and elongated then snapped back to its original state. What a process rewriting can be! We agreed maybe we should all go and read some Hemingway to learn about succinct condensation of verbiage. Jim admitted he had just reread “The Old Man And The Sea”. Hilarious. The following is Jim’s journaling about being plagued by adverbs:
Adverbs are my enemy! As soon as I wrestle one to the ground there is another before me, taunting. It is a never-ending fight and I tire of the battle. What else can I do? I struggle on and on, forcing one to submit and then another.
One day I will defeat them! I will complete a manuscript barren of the (bloody) buggers. Then I will laugh at them, when I have faced them all down.
Right on, Jim. We’re all behind you!
Bob didn’t have time to write anything between baseball games, but he kindly fixed glasses of ice water, and served cookies and banana bread for me. He is always a help in that department. Many thanks.
And thanks to all those who donated for the domain name. Much appreciated.
Next meeting will be here at my place at 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 16th. Hope to see you then, and by all means, bring your Muse.
Lisa
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