Thursday, September 20, 2018

THE REVIEW

HOLDING DOWN THE FORT

Annette and Cougar joined me last night for the latest Meeting of The Rams. Unfortunately, Charity is still recovering from her summer health issues, but she’s hoping she’ll be well enough to make the next Meeting. We sure hope she gets better soon.

Cougar read first, Chapter 6 of his novel. It sees Eric arrive in Iceland and describes the scenery and how uncertain he’s feeling about his journey and about communicating with Elfa. The last section of the chapter tells about Aoal being sexually propositioned by the office girl. This chapter was mostly about setting and seemed to be a pause in the story. We suggested that it might need a hook towards the end to keep the reader wanting to turn the pages to find out what happens. I did like the descriptions of Iceland, though, and Cougar said he had spent hours viewing Iceland online in order to tell what it looked like. His words did capture a very bleak looking landscape.

I read another short story I just wrote called “Penny Pincher”. It’s about a female senior who struggles with a limited income but is talked into attending her niece’s lavish wedding, which means an overnight stay away from home. Due to her brother’s involvement in gambling, the wedding turns into a blood bath and the protagonist ends up being grateful for her own circumstances. Cougar and Annette said they found the story riveting, but we all agreed the beginning needs some work. Rather than starting with the character’s introspection, it might work better to have a scene that includes dialogue with another character to introduce the conflict. I will do some work on it to improve things.

Annette didn’t read anything. She said she had started writing a story, but was distracted. She is still dealing with so many things since her husband died and focusing on writing just isn’t happening. It was amazing she showed up last night, and Cougar and I were both grateful for her input.

After our readings, Cougar and I both agreed critiquing the other’s work helped us see what needed doing with our own. That is the advantage of a writers’ group, learning from each other.

Next Meeting will be Wednesday, October 3rd at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Hope to see you then. Keep writing!

Lisa A. Hatton
Author

Thursday, September 6, 2018

THE REVIEW

TRIDENT

Cougar and Margaret Florczak joined me last night for a trilateral meeting of late summer scribes. It was great to see Margaret again after nearly a year. She was definitely looking tanned and fit and happy.

We started with some discussion about Polar Expressions’ writing contest. Margaret had entered and received acceptance of her story in their upcoming anthology, and wanted to know what others had experienced with this contest. I had pulled out six previous anthologies that all included a story of mine, and there was one where I was an honourable mention on the back cover of the book, though not a winner. I have been happy to enter most years as my writing is usually included in the anthology each year, and that gives me more writing credits. Other Rams have also had their writing accepted: Annette, Gemma, and I think Charity might have as well? There are no entry fees, the author maintains copyright, and if you purchase the anthology you will have something to leave your grandchildren. Ha! Ha!

I read first, my story “Grief Or Guilt?”, which is the story accepted by Polar Expressions this year. It was based on a true experience of a friend threatening suicide and the narrator calling police in a different jurisdiction to intervene. But then the friend dies of serious health problems anyway, and the narrator feels guilty for not having gone to see her. I let Bryon, my husband, read this story and he said I can’t complain any longer about slow, sad Karaoke songs he sings when I was writing my own sad stories.

Cougar read to us Chapter 5 in his novel. It starts with the plot-line about the Icelandic police sure they have found a spy. Then it moves to the plot-line abut Eric as he leaves Iowa and heads for Iceland. Eric does a lot of soul-searching and asks why he wants to shut out his uncle, who only wanted to help him. Cougar had said that since he is trying to interweave both plot-lines, it is taking longer and is sometimes more difficult than he thought. He had started with just the story about Eric, but added the second plot to amp up the storyline. This chapter did flow well and wasn’t confusing, so Cougar is succeeding so far.

Margaret read a first person article she wants to submit to a senior’s magazine. It’s called “Younger Now” and the title refers to her feeling more alive and younger and freer, at 71 years of age, than she ever has before. Up until the last couple of years, her life had been all about taking care of others: grandmother, husband, children, grandchildren. Finding love again with her former teenage sweetheart after all these years, has given her new opportunities to live and experience and explore many things she didn’t think she could ever do. This was an excellent article and we hope it sees publication. I told Margaret to let me know what happens with it.

As there was still time left, I re-read “Back-Up”, my short story that I read last time. I had kept tweaking it every few days so the conflict would be more apparent to readers, and Cougar said it read much better this time, that the suspense and the story arc worked well. But Margaret was disappointed that the ending didn’t include explanations about everything that had happened to two peripheral characters who had been mentioned. I thought about her observation and have decided to add a little more at the beginning to make it even clearer that the story is about the protagonist’s dilemma about making a decision, rather than who caused a fire and who might have been killed or injured. Asking questions of the writer always stimulates the creative juices!

Charity told me that I have her permission to let you know she has been absent from Meetings due to ill health. She had been hospitalized with internal bleeding, she said, but is now home and bed-ridden. She says she is missing us all very much.

Annette has been busy with all the end of life duties after her husband passed away and was also committed to another activity on Wednesday. We hope she’ll be able to join us again soon.

Next Meeting will be Wednesday, September 19th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Hope to see everyone then! Keep writing!

Lisa A. Hatton
Author