THE GIFT OF THE GAB
Luke, Charity and Annette all joined me Wednesday and it was so nice to see Annette again after such a long absence. With only 4 of us present, we had lots of time for catching up with each other.
Luke read his final chapter that has Dalin cleaned up and in his new uniform, going to pick out the soldiers he will take with him to the city. Torch is one he wants but she resists until he assures her he needs her to watch his back, mostly as a friend he trusts. The ending of this chapter wrapped things up nicely, but also left room for continuation in a later story. Well done.
Charity read the next chapter about Trixie Trouble, after she runs from the barn when Fat Marley says he wants to become mayor. Donovan follows her and declines the brandy she offers. The two of them argue and he leaves. She is devastated that people who killed her father for horse stealing would elect for mayor someone who stole even more from people.
I read a ‘Honey’ story, “Friday The Thirteenth”, which shows a cast of strange characters at the local Legion branch one Friday night. Luke and Charity both wanted me to make the ending less abrupt and I will see what I can do with it.
Annette didn’t have a story to read, but shared with us the plot she has devised for a mystery night she has planned for ladies at her church. After a party, there is theft of some jewels and participants are given clues and alibis and must discover who stole the jewels. Annette promised to advise us of who the culprit was after the mystery night.
Kay, Guy and Shannon were all unable to attend but we hope to see them again soon. Kay has said she will come back the middle of April. Guy said he will come back the next Meeting. And Annette has said she will come back in May. I look forward to seeing them all.
The next Meeting will be Wednesday, April 5th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. So kiss the Blarney Stone today and write down all the words that flow!
Tomorrow, Saturday the 18th, I’m meeting Kay at the Lemon Bakery in Langley City at noon for probably a couple of hours for lunch, writing, gabbing, or whatever. If you want to join our writers’ corner there, you are welcome.
Lisa A. Hatton
Author
My Motto: Hook, Line and Printer!
Friday, March 17, 2017
Saturday, March 4, 2017
THE REVIEW
FOUR LIONS
There were four Rams here on Wednesday, trying to roar like lions to bring in the first of March. We all had something to read, which made for a good start to the month.
Luke read first, his next chapter with Dalin and the General. The General admitted to Dalin there had been a spy among his support staff, but he blamed Dalin publicly to fool the spy, Commander Sark, and catch him. Dalin was promoted to Commader of Capital Garrison, and the General asked him to defend the city. We asked Luke if he could break up the constant dialogue in this chapter with relevant action on the part of the characters. And since it was not the end of the book, I thought it could use a small hook at the end rather than what seemed like closure. Now that I’m thinking again about the reading, I want to ask Luke if this piece was all one point of view, or if there was a switch made within this scene. You know me, I’m a stickler for not changing point of view willy-nilly in the same scene.
Guy read to us some more about George, called “Lost Upon Discovery”. We’re told George worked on one family farm where he socialized with the daughters, then went to work at a chicken eviscerating plant. As his mother wanted him back in school, he then went to live with another family where he did farm chores in return for room and board while he went to school. We suggested Guy give us some dialogue between characters and more detail of these various settings, and some idea of what George was thinking and feeling at the time. It’s great that Guy is listing all these events, but the reader needs more to connect with the character and care about him. However, it is becoming clear that George just packs up and moves on whenever something isn’t working out.
Shannon has written and published one cozy mystery called “Mobile Home Murder” in digital format with Amazon. She plans to write a series based on the shenanigans of seniors in a mobile home park in Florida. Her parents live in such a place and she has visited them and knows whereof she writes. She read to us the prologue of her second book “Senior Citizen Serial Killer”. It shows us a 68 year old Gertrude physically pinned on the bed by a very dead 89 year old lover on top of her. She can’t get him off her and is terrified of what everyone will think of her. Her predicament is revealed with humour and insight and we look forward to hearing more.
I read another ‘Honey’ story I’ve edited. This was “Don’t Rock The Boat” about a funny attempt for us to watch the Canada Day fireworks over Lake Okanagan, with family and a friend, from onboard a houseboat when the barbecue catches fire and the boat rocks precariously as some passengers scramble to discard marijuana as the police boat approaches with siren wailing.
Margaret Moffatt’s goodbye to readers of Today’s Senior Newsmagazine was published in their March issue. We really hope her health will improve that she might again write and submit her articles on the history of B.C.
Kay and Charity were unable to attend, but Kay did say she had published her script, “Porcelain”. We wish her luck with it.
We give thanks to Guy for the chocolates he brought, which he and Luke seemed to really enjoy. Do I dare ask them if chocolate is as good as…..?
Next Meeting will be Wednesday, March 15th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa A. Hatton
Author
There were four Rams here on Wednesday, trying to roar like lions to bring in the first of March. We all had something to read, which made for a good start to the month.
Luke read first, his next chapter with Dalin and the General. The General admitted to Dalin there had been a spy among his support staff, but he blamed Dalin publicly to fool the spy, Commander Sark, and catch him. Dalin was promoted to Commader of Capital Garrison, and the General asked him to defend the city. We asked Luke if he could break up the constant dialogue in this chapter with relevant action on the part of the characters. And since it was not the end of the book, I thought it could use a small hook at the end rather than what seemed like closure. Now that I’m thinking again about the reading, I want to ask Luke if this piece was all one point of view, or if there was a switch made within this scene. You know me, I’m a stickler for not changing point of view willy-nilly in the same scene.
Guy read to us some more about George, called “Lost Upon Discovery”. We’re told George worked on one family farm where he socialized with the daughters, then went to work at a chicken eviscerating plant. As his mother wanted him back in school, he then went to live with another family where he did farm chores in return for room and board while he went to school. We suggested Guy give us some dialogue between characters and more detail of these various settings, and some idea of what George was thinking and feeling at the time. It’s great that Guy is listing all these events, but the reader needs more to connect with the character and care about him. However, it is becoming clear that George just packs up and moves on whenever something isn’t working out.
Shannon has written and published one cozy mystery called “Mobile Home Murder” in digital format with Amazon. She plans to write a series based on the shenanigans of seniors in a mobile home park in Florida. Her parents live in such a place and she has visited them and knows whereof she writes. She read to us the prologue of her second book “Senior Citizen Serial Killer”. It shows us a 68 year old Gertrude physically pinned on the bed by a very dead 89 year old lover on top of her. She can’t get him off her and is terrified of what everyone will think of her. Her predicament is revealed with humour and insight and we look forward to hearing more.
I read another ‘Honey’ story I’ve edited. This was “Don’t Rock The Boat” about a funny attempt for us to watch the Canada Day fireworks over Lake Okanagan, with family and a friend, from onboard a houseboat when the barbecue catches fire and the boat rocks precariously as some passengers scramble to discard marijuana as the police boat approaches with siren wailing.
Margaret Moffatt’s goodbye to readers of Today’s Senior Newsmagazine was published in their March issue. We really hope her health will improve that she might again write and submit her articles on the history of B.C.
Kay and Charity were unable to attend, but Kay did say she had published her script, “Porcelain”. We wish her luck with it.
We give thanks to Guy for the chocolates he brought, which he and Luke seemed to really enjoy. Do I dare ask them if chocolate is as good as…..?
Next Meeting will be Wednesday, March 15th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa A. Hatton
Author
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