IN THE DOGHOUSE
As all our male members started arriving Wednesday, I was afraid I would be the only woman present. But then Margaret and Ann both arrived and we were a total of six men and three women. What an awesome group!
I am in the doghouse for a critique I did of a rewrite Jason sent me of his first two chapters. He said I totally crushed his self-confidence and I am repentant. Since I have never read a single fantasy novel, I have no business critiquing one. According to Ann, this genre is usually written with almost its own vernacular, which I know nothing about. It is a genre I have absolutely no experience with and so I ask if any of our members have resource material for Jason, to please forward it to him. Thank you so much.
I mentioned a Vancouver Sun article about the Kindle, a digital format for reading books. One problem seemed to be that page numbers were not apparent in the application, and so it was difficult to mark how far you had read in a particular novel. Ron did say he thought use of the Kindle in Canada was still not available. Does anybody know for sure about that?
After drawing up a timeline for an anthology that will be produced by the Murrayville Library Writers’ Group, I shared the steps involved. It’s a long process from start to finish.
Margaret read her umpteenth draft of Chapter 1 in “Coffin & Dye”. This draft read extremely well and the chapter unfolds mostly through conversation between the two men, a much better way than the previous narrative form. And of course, Margaret’s detailed descriptions bring that whole place and period of history to life for us.
Danny read his latest composition for his book, trying to verify how the family dynamics and sibling rivalry caused family dysfunction. Any specific problems or incidents mentioned were very interesting, but there needed to be more of them. This piece still needs some work to delete some of the rant and analyzing, and put in more actual people and incidents to help the reader connect with parties involved.
Robin joined us after a long hiatus. He explained with writing he likes to start with poetry and eventually work it into a song. Much of his writing comes from a desire to “play”, and is often light and humourous. He read us a recent poem, “Beware! Toe Shrapnel Flies!”, a funny and very exaggerated account of what happens when he gets his wife to cut his toenails.
Jason read Chapter 4 of his novel, and this account has an angel writing a journal of events, explaining the necessary key had been delivered to the boys. This chapter evoked a lot of interest and supplied suspense. Everyone wanted to know what would happen next.
Ann read a poem entitle “Disclosure”. It is a nineteen year old daughter telling her mother about the sexual abuse she suffered from her father when she was aged 5 to 11, while the mother was often passed out drunk. The mother doesn’t believe her and accuses her of collusion with her sister, saying they are both liars. The mother tells the daughter she has to leave the home. This poem is a very stark portrayal of family trauma and is dynamic enough to win a contest, I’m sure.
Ron read the next chapter in his novel. We see the csendorseg (mounted police in Hungary) confront the protesting peasant farmers’ union. They charge the peasants and a small boy is run down and seriously injured. The policeman responsible stops in concern. The child’s father appears and is distraught. The policeman is ordered by his commander to arrest the father, but refuses to do so and allows the father to leave, carrying his child. (This policeman will also emigrate to Canada.) This was a great way to show the conflict between rich and poor in Hungary.
Jim read his first chapter in his novel “Dimensions”. This portrays a married couple with children fighting and breaking up. But as the husband is now forty, he is “pulled” out of that incarnation and plopped into another. This chapter was well written and much sleeker in the storytelling. Jim said he spent time removing adverbs and adjectives and consequently the story stands up much better.
Also, Jim has kindly forwarded to all an article on manuscript formatting which is well worth reading for anyone submitting their writing to agents or publishers. The competition is fierce, and the formatting of the manuscript is its dress code. If it isn’t dressed properly, it won’t get in the door.
This weekend, Jason and Ron are participants in the Surrey International Writers’ Conference. Hope they get as much as they hoped from it. And I did ask they bring back the free handout information for the rest of us, things like the booklet from the Association of Book Publishers of B.C. It’s always good to have the latest news from local publishers.
Next meeting will be Wednesday, November 4th here at my place at 7:00 p.m. Hopefully Jason will let me out of the doghouse by then. Happy writing in the meantime.
Lisa
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
THE REVIEW
OCTOBER WRITERS
Eight writers convened Wednesday night to deliberate, debate and confabulate the merits of our written words. Ann Berrie was the new face in the crowd and we welcome her to this flock of Rams.
Margaret read first. She had re-written chapter one of “Coffin and Dye”, and now had most of the story told through dialogue as opposed to the former narrative style. Much better flow.
Bob has given up the idea of finishing the complete history of the jewellery business in B.C. and will now concentrate of finishing the sections he is familiar with in manufacturing and retail. He read two paragraphs about the vocation of jewellery sales people and the territories they covered. Another paragraph dealt with the number of watch-maker jewellers who took up their craft on returning to civilian life at the end of WWII and then retired en masse in the 1980s, which resulted in large chain stores stepping in and buying their inventories and locations.
Ron read the rest of the chapter he had started last time. Joseph and his friends are still in Keszthely, Hungary and walk to the monastery where they meet with the booking Agent to learn about emigrating to Canada. They are offered 160 acres of free farmland, but Joseph is skeptical and starts asking questions. What is the winter like? Is the winter longer and the growing season shorter? Has the Agent been to Canada? What are the costs? When are they due? What exactly do they cover? The Agent had answers, but Joseph was still dubious about his honesty.
I read a rhyming poem in Iambic Tetrameter, called “My Lady Muse”, which I wrote that afternoon because I hadn’t written anything else. I did read once that if you are suffering writer’s block, then you can at least write about not writing. So I did.
Jim has outlined the next 4 chapters of “Dimensions”, to carry on from the short story he read last time. He is also working on the trilogy he had already written.
Ann brought two of her poems to share with us, both razor sharp depictions of disturbing images. The first poem, which Jason read, was “From Now On” and is the distressing experience of a young girl being raped and realizing that continuing incestuous abuse would be her fate. The other poem, untitled and not ended, was a stark picture of the victims during the holocaust. These are powerful pieces that need to find a much wider audience to appreciate them.
Gemma brought her poem, “Let It Go”, to read. It is discourse between a single apple and the very old tree that produced it, with the young apple wanting its freedom, but the tree refusing to let go until the fall when its leaves were gone. Parent and child?
After the last meeting, Jim and I did a lot of emailing and online editing of his short story “Dimensions” without using any paper. He emailed the story to me, I turned on Tracking Changes under Tools, made the changes I thought it needed, and emailed it back. When he got it, he went under View and turned on Markup so he could see the changes I’d made, which appeared in red. Then he made more changes and sent it back to me and I turned on Markup and could see my changes in red and his in blue. And for every party that makes changes, another color is used. A very interesting process and good to know.
Gemma also brought submission guideline from Whitmore Publishing, a company accepting submission for standard publishing (not self-publishing or vanity publishing). You can find their guidelines at submissions@whitmorepublishing.com .
Jason was asking for help in understanding more effectively the elements of fantasy fiction novels. If anyone has any resources to share, please contact Jason. His address will be on the email I send with the link to this Review. You can find it by clicking on File and then on Properties.
Next meeting will be here at my place, Wednesday, October 21st at 7:00 p.m. Look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa
Eight writers convened Wednesday night to deliberate, debate and confabulate the merits of our written words. Ann Berrie was the new face in the crowd and we welcome her to this flock of Rams.
Margaret read first. She had re-written chapter one of “Coffin and Dye”, and now had most of the story told through dialogue as opposed to the former narrative style. Much better flow.
Bob has given up the idea of finishing the complete history of the jewellery business in B.C. and will now concentrate of finishing the sections he is familiar with in manufacturing and retail. He read two paragraphs about the vocation of jewellery sales people and the territories they covered. Another paragraph dealt with the number of watch-maker jewellers who took up their craft on returning to civilian life at the end of WWII and then retired en masse in the 1980s, which resulted in large chain stores stepping in and buying their inventories and locations.
Ron read the rest of the chapter he had started last time. Joseph and his friends are still in Keszthely, Hungary and walk to the monastery where they meet with the booking Agent to learn about emigrating to Canada. They are offered 160 acres of free farmland, but Joseph is skeptical and starts asking questions. What is the winter like? Is the winter longer and the growing season shorter? Has the Agent been to Canada? What are the costs? When are they due? What exactly do they cover? The Agent had answers, but Joseph was still dubious about his honesty.
I read a rhyming poem in Iambic Tetrameter, called “My Lady Muse”, which I wrote that afternoon because I hadn’t written anything else. I did read once that if you are suffering writer’s block, then you can at least write about not writing. So I did.
Jim has outlined the next 4 chapters of “Dimensions”, to carry on from the short story he read last time. He is also working on the trilogy he had already written.
Ann brought two of her poems to share with us, both razor sharp depictions of disturbing images. The first poem, which Jason read, was “From Now On” and is the distressing experience of a young girl being raped and realizing that continuing incestuous abuse would be her fate. The other poem, untitled and not ended, was a stark picture of the victims during the holocaust. These are powerful pieces that need to find a much wider audience to appreciate them.
Gemma brought her poem, “Let It Go”, to read. It is discourse between a single apple and the very old tree that produced it, with the young apple wanting its freedom, but the tree refusing to let go until the fall when its leaves were gone. Parent and child?
After the last meeting, Jim and I did a lot of emailing and online editing of his short story “Dimensions” without using any paper. He emailed the story to me, I turned on Tracking Changes under Tools, made the changes I thought it needed, and emailed it back. When he got it, he went under View and turned on Markup so he could see the changes I’d made, which appeared in red. Then he made more changes and sent it back to me and I turned on Markup and could see my changes in red and his in blue. And for every party that makes changes, another color is used. A very interesting process and good to know.
Gemma also brought submission guideline from Whitmore Publishing, a company accepting submission for standard publishing (not self-publishing or vanity publishing). You can find their guidelines at submissions@whitmorepublishing.com .
Jason was asking for help in understanding more effectively the elements of fantasy fiction novels. If anyone has any resources to share, please contact Jason. His address will be on the email I send with the link to this Review. You can find it by clicking on File and then on Properties.
Next meeting will be here at my place, Wednesday, October 21st at 7:00 p.m. Look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa
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