THE REVIEW

AND THE PRIZE GOES TO?

Leah, Kristi, Jim and Margaret F. all joined me on Wednesday for another inspiring Meeting of the Rams. Jason was busy elsewhere. Lorelei was having a bad day. And Annette was attending someone’s birthday party.

Leah gave us a printout of “10 Ways to Promote Your Self-Published Book”. It covers all the basics to self-promote.

Margaret read first, two posts from her blog on caregiving. The first was “Caregiver’s New Year” where she tells us that watching another’s journey in dying is really a privilege and not something to evoke sympathy. The second post was “The Diagnosis” which tells of the shock for both the patient and the caregiver when the diagnosis is terminal, that nothing can be done. Both pieces tell of courage and heartbreak with end of life issues. You can find Margaret’s blog at www.caregiverme.com


Kristi read next, a short story called “TLC”. It is first person and tells of her going to work upset, and all the things going wrong, and then seeing that her first dental patient would be someone she detests. But when both are faced with each other’s tears, they learn they each lost a beloved dog the night before and end up uniting in their grief and consoling each other. And Kristi herself was in tears remembering the death of her dog. It’s remarkable how the printed word can elicit raw emotions from the writer, the reader, the listener. Powerfully written, for sure.

Jim read Ch. 5 of “Coventry Ghosts – Book I”. In this chapter, Leanne appears for the first time after midnight to both her mother, Patty, and her sister, Olivia. Patty faints. We teased Jim because he had her body ‘prostate’ instead of ‘prostrate’. This was a really fun chapter and should thrill young readers.

I read again from “Nigel Wingate Is Dead”; the prologue, Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. This explains the death of the child, that DeeDee drowned her, that she wants Nigel to understand, and that her mother is burdened by the event and is worried about what friends from church will think. I haven’t written more yet, but am editing what I have so far, trying to get back into the flow of the story.

In a conversation with Gemma, I did learn she is now involved with a writing group in Victoria and participated in a local event and sat a table where the writers were selling their own work. She said she was able to sell another copy of her book about her dog, Heidi. Good for Gemma!

At the end of the Meeting, we decided that Kristi deserved an award from our prize box for the story that was the best tear-jerker. She chose a small journal.

The next Meeting will be Wednesday, July 8th at 7:00 p.m., here at my place. Hope to see you then, and that fathers have a wonderful Fathers’ Day, and that everyone enjoys Canada Day! Write on, Rams!!!

Lisa A. Hatton
Author

THE REVIEW

PAPER CLIP BONANZA

Jason, Leah, Annette and Jim joined me last night for the latest meeting of the Rams. And I am now one box of jumbo paper clips richer. Jim said he can only buy his favourite jumbo clips by the case and he ended up with a thirty year supply. It was his birthday, and he said since he probably wouldn’t outlive his supply of paper clips, he was spreading them around. Something every writer needs, right?

Jason read what might become Chapter 16 of his novel. This chapter was from the point of view of Damianos and shows him starving in an alternate reality/world where he views a beautiful amazon woman at least three feet taller than he is. He saves her from the arrow of a killer and she softens towards him. But he still views her as dinner. We all loved this chapter because Damianos is such a vivid, colourful character, capable of both good and evil at the same time.

Annette read Chapter 25 in “A Touch Of Wormwood”. We see George West moaning on the floor after Alyssa’s father shot him with a stun gun. Mike shows up at the door, badly beaten, but having subdued one of West’s men on the porch, and beat another two of them besides. Alyssa can’t decide whether to wait at the cabin for John, or leave in the ambulance with Mike. Her father tells her to go with Mike. We are still waiting for Alyssa to make up her own mind about who she wants.


Jim read us Ch. 3a, 3b, 3c and revised 3, from “Coventry Ghosts – Book I”. Judge Jeffreys visits the ghost of Jane Seymour and asks her to befriend Leanne of Coventry and try to keep an eye on her to avert trouble, as the young girl exudes more power than she knows how to control. Meanwhile, Leanne uses her powers of telepathy with her sister, Olivia, to have her come to the coffee shop with their mother, Patty, who now cleans the shop three nights a week. Patty tries to remain ‘rational’ but can’t explain all the weird things that happen at the coffee shop. Olivia knows the telepathic link with her sister remains, and she still misses her terribly. We urged Jim to supply some reason why Patty was willing to work at the coffee shop located right where Leanne died outside. Even rational mothers need some good reason to work where they are reminded of a child’s death.

Jason, Jim and I all admitted we hadn’t written anything new to read but had been working at editing previous drafts of work we’ve done.

However, Jim did write an article about prologues, that is in the newsletter at Linkedin. He included my prologue to “Nigel Wingate Is Dead” as an example of a very short prologue, 89 words. Shorter is better he says.

Margaret Moffatt has an article on the history of Vancouver’s North Shore in the June Issue of Today’s Senior Newsmagazine.

Marilyne Sergi has an article about Canada’s Pier 21 in Halifax in the Abbotsford Genealogical Society Newsletter, June 2015 issue. Also in that issue is her “A Narrative Poem” relating to the history of Edmonton.

Kristi was unable to join us last night as she had no one to look after her children for her. And Lorelie was not feeling well after babysitting a sick grandchild earlier in the week. Hope to see them both next time.

When Jim handed out the paper clips last night, I suggested we start a box of donated writing gifts that we can use as prizes. Further discussion led us to decide we should all contribute something a writer could use, maximum cost of any item under $5.00, and then once a month award a prize for something like the best piece of dialogue, the best action scene, the best character description, the best sex scene (Jason’s suggestion), etc. Prizes we donate to the box could be a box of paper clips, pens, scratch pad, ream of paper, ruler, dictionary, thesaurus, book on writing, USB memory stick, etc. And the winner each month can draw whatever he or she would prefer. Each month we will all submit on a piece of paper our choice of which piece of writing meant the most to us and why, and then we will have someone draw from the collection to determine the winner. Maybe we will go alphabetically to determine the sequence of who draws the winning entry. Okay, Game On! Now you have to write your best!

Leah tells me the Langley Arts Council is meeting next Tuesday, June 9th at 7:00 p.m. at the Langley Community Music School, 4899 – 207th St., near the Al Anderson Pool. She said they are looking to connect with any Langley writing groups and have more literary artists showcased in the community. I think I will go with Leah and represent the Rams. Watch out, there could be public readings coming soon to your future profiles as writers!

Next Meeting of The Rams will be Wednesday, June 17th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Keep writing. Don’t get frazzled by the warm sunshine. And bring your donations to the prize box. See you on the 17th.

LISA A. HATTON
Author
Published eBooks available at Kobo Books:
FIRE: http://kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=9780991739615
LOVE FOUND: http://kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=9780991739608

THE REVIEW

SNOOZE-FEST?

Can’t say whether it was the warm temperature or that our writing was boring, but a few eyelids had trouble staying up on Wednesday night when Leah, Jim, Lorelei and Jason joined me here for a meeting. Hope it was just that I didn’t have the air conditioning on high! Kristi was busy with her son’s fifth birthday, and Annette had been marooned in Princeton with a vehicle breakdown on her way home from Grand Forks. We missed them both.


We discussed how best to indicate to the reader there is a change in point of view within a chapter, and agreed additional space between paragraphs is warranted. However, on looking up the subject, the advice I found was: Change of scene can be indicated with an extra space. Change of POV or timeframe will need either the # or ***, in the middle of the space between paragraphs. Jim uses the # key in his writing. I always start a new chapter when I change POV. Each to their own, I guess. Just don’t leave the reader confused as to whose head they are roaming around in.

Lorelie handed around a print-out of what we all surmised to be an attempted scam via email. This one was very well written but we were skeptical that anybody would still be falling for something like that.

Jim read the edited version of the prologue and first few chapters of “Coventry Ghosts – Book I”. The prologue shows the death of Leanne and the first few chapters show how she is learning to haunt the coffee shop. Also, Judge Jeffreys is introduced near the beginning and he tells Leanne the rules of haunting and that breaking them means being exiled to Drakko. Wanting to communicate her thanks to the ladies who had tried to save her, she appears after midnight to each successive cleaning person at the coffee shop, but ends up scaring them all away.

The writing reads much smoother and Jim likes what the editor has suggested, but is still having problems getting the process to move ahead more quickly. At the rate it’s been going, he could see it taking two years for an edit he would like to see completed in maybe a few months. He did say he needs to speak with the editor. Luckily, he didn’t pay up front for the service.

Since Jason has several times asked me what was happening with “Nigel Wingate Is Dead”, I had pulled out the beginnings of that novel that I hadn’t looked at in a couple of years and at the meeting I read the prologue and first chapter. I thought they still read fairly well and Leah said she wanted to keep going and hear what was happening. Jason suggested I include a little more information on where the Cariboo and Watch Lake are located and Leah had the perfect wording to do that, so I will add that information right at the beginning. Jason also told me not to forget that just because this story is based on a true incident, I don’t have to only write what really happened; that I can make the story more compelling by adding fictional elements. He’s right, as I always intended this to be fiction anyhow. And that is when Lorelei perked right up and took notes. You don’t have to be fettered by only the truth when you write.

I also told Jim that I had managed to group all my ‘Honey’ stories in one manuscript file on my computer, and have also done some formatting so the whole thing is visually readable. Next will come the editing. Someone asked if I had decided what order to put the stories in and I said I had chosen an order for the time being. But I may ask someone, or several someones, to read the order and give me their thoughts on the subject.

The Meetings in June will be the usual dates, the first and third Wednesdays. However, as the first Wednesday in July is actually July 1st, a holiday, we decided to move that meeting to July 8th. And since I will be away the end of July and the beginning of August, there will be other changes, as well. So after discussion, here is the intended schedule for June, July and August.

June 3rd
June 17th
July 8th
July 15th
August 19th

All Meetings will be at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Be sure to mark your calendars. Really hope that you will be able to attend. Happy writing everyone!

THE REVIEW

PROOF POSITIVE

Seven of us were here on Wednesday to prove we’re still writers, although not necessarily still writing. If all this gorgeous weather keeps us away from our computer screens, maybe we should regress to pen and paper? We might be further ahead. But seems to me Kristi already does that.

Jim read first, two chapters. The first was Ch. 66 which is the last chapter in “Coventry Ghosts, Book I”. In it a powerful figure in the country of Honywuan plans to break Jason out of a Mexican jail and bring him to Honywuan to collect soul essences by computer for that country to control the world. And the Umbra ghosts are angry with the ghosts of Leanne and Sara, and also plan to work with Jason for more control over ghostdom. The next piece Jim read is the prologue to Book II and shows the death of the kitten Sara and how she meets up with Leanne and joins her in the haunt of the coffee shop.

When I told Jim I didn’t remember this prologue he said it’s because he just wrote it, after he finished writing the book. And Lorelei perked up knowing somebody else was writing a book out of chronological order. Perfectly acceptable. I suppose I’ve done that with my “Honey” stories, but now I’m having difficulty putting them in some kind of order for a whole manuscript. And since I didn’t plan a book to begin with, I see there is a lot of repetition of background that I’m dealing with. Win some, lose some. Jim says he loves writing the first draft and all the rest is just grunt work. I agree.

I read next, a short personal essay called “The Ring”, which I wrote Wednesday morning just to prove to myself I could still write. It tells of a family ring glittering with many diamonds that intimidated the first two women who wore it. But with the third generation it found a comfortable home. Maybe I’ll send it off to the Polar Expressions writing contest. If it gets printed, it ups my count of royalties paid to me by Access Copyright.

Annette read Ch. 23 and 24 of “A Touch Of Wormwood”. In the first, Alyssa tells her father of the sexual assault she endured and that she doesn’t feel worthy of wearing a purity ring he had given her. But he says her integrity is still intact and therefore she is worthy of the ring. In the next chapter she accuses Mike of cheating at cards. He goes outside, after which George West, the crime boss, comes into the cabin and tells her Mike is probably already dead. As he moves towards her she closes her eyes in terror, and then hears George screaming in pain. She opens her eyes and sees him down and clawing at the floor. None of us were very happy about how submissive Alyssa has become when there are men present. We’ve been very hard on Annette. She doesn’t want Alyssa’s anger to come to the surface and we are all trying to force that to happen.


Kristi read the beginning of a short story called “Three Suns Dance”. It starts with a naked young man and woman in a tent. Even though they desire each other, he must leave by dawn as he cannot have sex with a woman on the day of the dance. Interesting implication that a sexual encounter would not add to his stature as a man. Where is this fantasy world?

Lorelie and Jason did not read, but we thank them for listening to the rest of us. Support of other writers is always important.

Margaret Moffatt has an article on the history of Steveston, B.C. in the May issue of Today’s Senior Newsmagazine.

The next Meeting of The Rams will be Wednesday, May 20th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Hope to see you then with your collection of written words. Happy Mother’s Day to those who qualify, and if anyone goes to the Cloverdale Rodeo, don’t get stomped on!

LISA A. HATTON
Author
Published eBooks available at Kobo Books:
FIRE: http://kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=9780991739615
LOVE FOUND: http://kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=9780991739608

THE REVIEW

UP AND WALKING

It was good to see some Rams on Wednesday after six weeks of convalescing from my last surgery. Annette, Kristi, Leah, Jim and Jason all joined me to honour The Muse. Kristi had also been recovering from surgery on her wrist, so neither one of us had done much writing, but she did read something of hers.

Jason had to leave early, so was the first to read a very long next chapter from his book. It continued with Gregg being waylaid by his adoptive mom, Laura. She started expounding on her difficult upbringing and her annoyances with her younger sister, Samantha, who was Gregg’s biological mother. Gregg wanted to hear about his biological father, who was not human, and he pressed Laura to tell him. He is afraid he is like his father, able to both harm and heal. But Laura tells him he is her savior because of how much she has come to love him as her own. We saw this as a chapter that foretells of Gregg’s father coming onto the scene.

Annette read the next chapter in “A Touch Of Wormwood”. Alyssa is still at the cabin with her family, and Karl, and Mike and John. The two brothers each vie for her attention. As the brothers go jogging in the morning, her father tells her she needs to choose which one she loves and wants. She speaks to both men, but doesn’t choose either one. We thought the conflict in this situation needed to be expressed more openly instead of so civilly, especially since the brothers are both cops. Annette assured us the conflict was coming.

Kristi read another chapter of backstory she is thinking of using instead of the prologue for “Jane And The Midnight Daisies”. Jane, at six years of age, has a nightmare about a man collecting a baby in a basket. She awakes and sees the red eerie glow up on the opposite mountain. Afraid, she runs to her parents’ bedroom but they are missing. This is a much shorter introduction to the mystery.

Leah had decided to write some classical poetry and brought some examples to share. The first was a triolet, eight lines with eight beats per line. She had written two examples, “Jealous Cousin” and “Fat Child Blues”. In order to more precisely form the required beats per line and the rhyme scheme, Leah had used what looked like a grid from MS Excel in which she placed the correct syllables for each line. Never thought of writing poetry that way. Too funny. The next type of poem was a cinquin, with five lines. The example used was “Beetle”. Next came a villanelle, with 19 lines, and her example was “Do Naught”. This made us all realize writing poetry is just as much work as writing a novel. Rather complicated.

The evening had worn away, so Jim and I didn’t read anything. However, I did mention a new publisher I had found online that has opened in Vancouver. They can be found at www.nonvella.com, and publish short works of non-fiction running from five to twenty thousand words. They publish in print, but also digital copies online at Kobo. I thought this might be someplace to send my “Honey” stories, since they are memoir, and thus non-fiction.

Margaret Moffatt has an article on the history of Richmond, B.C. in the April issue of Today’s Senior Newsmagazine.

Marilyn Sergi emailed me that she had both an article and a poem accepted for publication, but unfortunately, I lost her email and can’t remember which publication she mentioned. But congratulations to her regardless.

The next Meeting will be Wednesday, May 6th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Hope to see you then. Don’t let the sunshine distract you from writing!

LISA A. HATTON
Author
Published eBooks available at Kobo Books:
FIRE: http://kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=9780991739615
LOVE FOUND: http://kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=9780991739608

THE REVIEW

SEVEN SCRIBES

Jason, Annette, Leah, Kristi, Wendy and Jim all joined me Wednesday for an inspiring meeting dedicated to the written word.

Jason read first, another chapter in his second book in his series. Gregg is at home in the morning, getting ready to help Jody celebrate her 17th birthday. His stepfather, Patrick, knowingly provides him with a bottle of wine but says not to tell anyone. And his mother, Laura, corners him with questions about what is going on. She won’t let him get away. Gregg doesn’t know what to say about knowing he is only part human. He asks her if she believes in the afterlife. She tells him that’s only for the very young or the very old to believe, as those in between are too busy living. A very meaningful conversation.

Annette read Chapter 20 from “A Touch Of Wormwood”. Still at the hideaway cabin, Mike wants Alyssa for himself, but sees how close she has come to his brother, John. And he sees John move to stand between him and Alyssa. Outside and alone with each other, John accuses Mike of having sent Alyssa into a life of hiding, a life also filled with danger and terror. Will wanting the same woman tear two brothers apart?

Leah read two short pieces that came from writing prompts. “One Wooden Whistle” was about an old man’s effects contained in a box. One of the items was a wooden whistle he had used to call doves to him to act as his messenger pigeons. “Snow Job” was about one woman’s very tall ‘little brother’ trying to convince her to lend him her much cherished rebuilt car she called ‘Gypsy’. Though short, both pieces revealed snapshots from life that clearly displayed precise moments of meaning.

Kristi read the next chapter in “Jane And The Midnight Daisies”. We see Jane heading home after delivering the baby, trying to navigate a muddy alley. She feels like people are watching her from behind dark windows as she passes by. Close to a busier roadway, a young boy steals her bag and she chases after him. She falls and knocks a man’s basket to the ground. After rising and returning the basket to him, he calls her a bitch and then leaves humming a lullaby. A very strange dichotomy of behavior.

Wendy read the first piece of writing she has done in a very long time, inspired by what she is going through caring for her 95 year old mother. She titled the piece “The Dilemma Of Old Age”. Wendy details the trials and tribulations of her mother’s personality traits, which often mirror a child’s, and cause distress to both Wendy and her sister. And she reminds us how difficult it is to maintain our equilibrium in the face of such cantankerous eruptions. But because of love, she still wishes the very best for this woman she has known all her life. This was a heartfelt piece of writing that touched us all, and we hope will be shared with a bigger audience.
Jim read Ch. 71 and 72 of “Coventry Ghosts – Book II”. Unable to revive Sara in the dark reaches of Drakko after her essence was shattered by containing the bomb, Shei, Moog and Grek call on Leanne from Coventry to help save Sara. Leanne gathers Piovra to her and pulls energy from the Aeris as well as energy from the other ghosts, and proceeds to put together all the pieces of Sara’s essence. Miraculously, Sara is revived. Wisely, she decides to forego her search for revenge and returns to the coffee shop. The last chapter in the book sees Sara and her friend Karly planning a trip to Eqypt instead. They agree to meet at The Great Sphinx at one nanosecond after midnight, Eqypt time.

Jim was saying his hired editor has been missing in action since before Christmas. We hope he can make contact with her and at least get his money’s worth from the project. However, this is also a reminder that it might be wise to have a written contract when hiring this service.

I am scheduled for my last surgery on March 3rd, and am thinking I will need 4 to 6 weeks of recovery time before I’m ready to host another meeting afterward. I will definitely contact everyone to let you know how I’m progressing.

In the meantime, I wish everyone continued inspiration from The Muse, and also a happy Spring Break, and a Happy Easter, as well. Write On!

LISA A. HATTON
Author
Published eBooks available at Kobo Books:
FIRE: http://kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=9780991739615
LOVE FOUND: http://kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=9780991739608

THE REVIEW

FEBRUARY FIVE

There were five of us here Wednesday night in spite of the rains. Jim, Jason, Annette, and Kristi all came to join me and we read some of our scribblings.

I read first although I probably shouldn’t have read at all. With both my recent surgery and the prospect of the next one looming, my mind has not been on the written word. However, I did write and then read about what expectations I have of my upcoming pre-admission visit at the hospital. After five surgeries, it is all very routine to me, and probably read that way as well. If the writer is bored, then so, too, will be the reader.

Annette read a short personal introspection called “The Winter Nest”. She describes daily walks to the end of the driveway and not knowing which way to go, much like the geese she watches who seem unable to leave and fly south for the winter. She thinks they laugh at her when she decides not to leave home, either. Very poignant.

Jason read the next chapter in his novel. Gregg is at home drained and exhausted from his healing of Jaina. Jody is with him. His parents are also there, trying to find out what the two teenagers had been up to. The parents think the kids had been having sex. Gregg and Jody don’t enlighten them, but Gregg does then become sexually excited and Jody notices. This scene ramps up the sexual tension between the two of them and we see a softer, more human side of Jody.

Kristi read her most recent re-write of chapter 1 in “Jane And The Midnight Daisies”. This shows a more mature version of Jane acting as a midwife in the very poor section of town close to the docks. She is very concerned that the mother seems to not want her newborn but finally convinces her to nurse the baby. This is setting up the explanation of where the food supply for the daisies will come from in later chapters. Oh, what horror!

Jim read Chapter 69 and 70 in “Coventry Ghosts – Book II”. As the submarine is leaving, Sara the kitten says good-bye to Mei-Xiu, and invites her to come visit them at Coventry. The sub is heading toward the aircraft carrier which has a physician who can treat the lieutenant. Two platoons of marines later parachute into Honywuan to destroy Jason’s new computer. Sara also goes but is terrified for them when she discerns the lone computer in the lab is a bomb. She wraps herself around it to contain the blast, but is herself blown into the depths of Drakko. She’s got herself into another fix, as only a kitten can do.

Margaret Moffatt has an article on the history of Fort Langley in the February issue of Today’s Senior Newsmagazine.

Lorelie is still dealing with health issues and we wish her well. Leah is super busy with her business endeavors these days. And we haven’t heard from anyone else.

I am definitely scheduled for my last surgery on March 3rd, after which I will require about 4 to 6 weeks for recovery before I can again host Meetings. Therefore, the next Meeting will be Wednesday, February 18th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place, and will be the last until sometime in April probably. So mark your calendar and we hope to see you February 18th.

PS: Did you know that February 14th is both Valentine’s Day and International Condom Day? Now why is that?

LISA A. HATTON
Author
Published eBooks available at Kobo Books:
FIRE: http://kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=9780991739615
LOVE FOUND: http://kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=9780991739608