THE REVIEW

IN THE DOGHOUSE


As all our male members started arriving Wednesday, I was afraid I would be the only woman present. But then Margaret and Ann both arrived and we were a total of six men and three women. What an awesome group!

I am in the doghouse for a critique I did of a rewrite Jason sent me of his first two chapters. He said I totally crushed his self-confidence and I am repentant. Since I have never read a single fantasy novel, I have no business critiquing one. According to Ann, this genre is usually written with almost its own vernacular, which I know nothing about. It is a genre I have absolutely no experience with and so I ask if any of our members have resource material for Jason, to please forward it to him. Thank you so much.

I mentioned a Vancouver Sun article about the Kindle, a digital format for reading books. One problem seemed to be that page numbers were not apparent in the application, and so it was difficult to mark how far you had read in a particular novel. Ron did say he thought use of the Kindle in Canada was still not available. Does anybody know for sure about that?

After drawing up a timeline for an anthology that will be produced by the Murrayville Library Writers’ Group, I shared the steps involved. It’s a long process from start to finish.

Margaret read her umpteenth draft of Chapter 1 in “Coffin & Dye”. This draft read extremely well and the chapter unfolds mostly through conversation between the two men, a much better way than the previous narrative form. And of course, Margaret’s detailed descriptions bring that whole place and period of history to life for us.

Danny read his latest composition for his book, trying to verify how the family dynamics and sibling rivalry caused family dysfunction. Any specific problems or incidents mentioned were very interesting, but there needed to be more of them. This piece still needs some work to delete some of the rant and analyzing, and put in more actual people and incidents to help the reader connect with parties involved.

Robin joined us after a long hiatus. He explained with writing he likes to start with poetry and eventually work it into a song. Much of his writing comes from a desire to “play”, and is often light and humourous. He read us a recent poem, “Beware! Toe Shrapnel Flies!”, a funny and very exaggerated account of what happens when he gets his wife to cut his toenails.

Jason read Chapter 4 of his novel, and this account has an angel writing a journal of events, explaining the necessary key had been delivered to the boys. This chapter evoked a lot of interest and supplied suspense. Everyone wanted to know what would happen next.

Ann read a poem entitle “Disclosure”. It is a nineteen year old daughter telling her mother about the sexual abuse she suffered from her father when she was aged 5 to 11, while the mother was often passed out drunk. The mother doesn’t believe her and accuses her of collusion with her sister, saying they are both liars. The mother tells the daughter she has to leave the home. This poem is a very stark portrayal of family trauma and is dynamic enough to win a contest, I’m sure.

Ron read the next chapter in his novel. We see the csendorseg (mounted police in Hungary) confront the protesting peasant farmers’ union. They charge the peasants and a small boy is run down and seriously injured. The policeman responsible stops in concern. The child’s father appears and is distraught. The policeman is ordered by his commander to arrest the father, but refuses to do so and allows the father to leave, carrying his child. (This policeman will also emigrate to Canada.) This was a great way to show the conflict between rich and poor in Hungary.

Jim read his first chapter in his novel “Dimensions”. This portrays a married couple with children fighting and breaking up. But as the husband is now forty, he is “pulled” out of that incarnation and plopped into another. This chapter was well written and much sleeker in the storytelling. Jim said he spent time removing adverbs and adjectives and consequently the story stands up much better.

Also, Jim has kindly forwarded to all an article on manuscript formatting which is well worth reading for anyone submitting their writing to agents or publishers. The competition is fierce, and the formatting of the manuscript is its dress code. If it isn’t dressed properly, it won’t get in the door.

This weekend, Jason and Ron are participants in the Surrey International Writers’ Conference. Hope they get as much as they hoped from it. And I did ask they bring back the free handout information for the rest of us, things like the booklet from the Association of Book Publishers of B.C. It’s always good to have the latest news from local publishers.

Next meeting will be Wednesday, November 4th here at my place at 7:00 p.m. Hopefully Jason will let me out of the doghouse by then. Happy writing in the meantime.

Lisa