CHRISTMAS IS COMING
Seven of us met on Wednesday, and Anne brought some chocolate brownies for us. She won’t be driving for a few weeks after surgery scheduled for Monday, so we won’t see her again until the New Year. We all wish her a speedy recovery.
Margaret read “Ghost In The Waxworks”, the next chapter in Coffin & Dye. Mr. Fox was concerned about the ghost at the wax museum at the Borough of Whistle. He wanted the it identified. He believed it was the ghost of Lucy Walter, the mistress of Charles II. Dye would only allot a week to identify the ghost. Coffin, afraid of ghosts, bought some whiskey to take with him to the Museum after dinner, where he would do a stakeout to catch the ghost.
Margaret is also in further talks with the publisher interested in her book “Blow Up The Castle”. We are all waiting to hear what transpires.
Danny read four pages talking about the time just before his breakdown. He gave us a lot of detail about group therapy, a social worker, anti-depressants, suicidal thoughts, side-effects of meds, suicidal ideation, erectile dysfunction, Viagra (and the opposite problem), girlfriend excluding him, dreading Christmas alone, and more suicidal thoughts. We were shown how thoughts of suicide were underlying everything else in his life.
Bob rewrote his fan letter to the Boston Red Sox and mailed it. We hope he gets a reply.
And then Bob read to us his account of all the electronics failures he and his wife have been plagued with recently. At various times they lost the use of T.V.s, computers and phones. A nightmare, to be sure. And Bob has yet to finish the story for us.
Anne read “Barbie Goes To The Lake”, an epic poem recounting an episode in her childhood when she took Barbie and Ken outside, and got into mischief with her friend Trish. Very comical.
Margaret and Gemma were both published in the December issue of Today’s Senior Newsmagazine. Margaret’s piece listed some well-known Christmas carols and then gave their history and told who wrote them. Gemma’s story, “A Christmas Present”, was about a hospital worker going home late on a snowy Christmas Eve in Montreal, to find her husband and son waiting for her with the gift of a new puppy. Very touching.
In the January issue of Eclectica Magazine, Jim, Anne and I will all be contributing authors. Jim and I have had short stories accepted, and Anne has two poems accepted. This group is doing very well, indeed.
I showed the group the anthology “Below The Canopy” which I received last week. It included my short piece “His Rant”.
Since Holidays are near, I asked the group if they wanted to have a meeting on the 16th or if they wanted to take a break until the New Year. Consensus was that we would have a little Christmas party on Wednesday, December 16th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. I’ll put out some wine, and everybody will bring something to snack on. Bob said he would make some of his pecan tarts. So be sure to join us that night and we will toast The Muse and be merry and jolly. If you have anything with a Christmas or New Year theme to read, bring it along. And I can always read Stuart McLean’s “Dave Cooks The Turkey” to give us a good laugh. Really hope to see you on the 16th.
Lisa
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
THE REVIEW
ECLECTIC
Six of us braved the storm on Wednesday and met to honour The Muse.
Bob was feeling stressed over all the electronics turmoil at his house during the past few weeks. But he phoned me since Wednesday to say his computer is up and running again and he could now receive his email. I told him he must write a story about his computer and T.V. saga of despair.
Margaret read her next chapter in “Coffin & Dye”. Dye had leased a small, shabby office over Reeds Books, for the new partnership of Coffin & Dye, Ghost Eradicators. Coffin was not impressed that Dye had signed a lease for 2 years. However, Dye had also placed an ad in the local paper and their first customer arrived, a Jordan Fox. Margaret has also sent an item to Today’s Seniors Newsmagazine, which she thinks will appear in their December issue.
Ann brought a poem to read that she said was a happy piece compared to the darker ones she had read previously. She read “The Gray Goose Goober”, a humorous animal story in meter and rhyme that illustrates the circle of life and death and also points out the need of animals, too, for familial companionship.
Jason had re-written, again, his Chapter 1 and read it to us. This time it captivated listeners right from the very beginning, portraying a frustrated sexual encounter between Greg and Jodie, and also exposing the fanciful menace that will permeate this urban fantasy he is writing. We were spellbound as he read and we all gave him two thumbs up on it.
Jim read some erotica for seniors, a short story called “Dirty Old Man” which portrays the very lusty sex lives of a married couple in their 80s and the acceptance and emulation of same by all their offspring. Jim also said his story “Janina”, about a young woman’s struggles on a houseboat during a violent storm, has been accepted by Eclectica Magazine for publication in their Issue #7. Congratulations from all of us.
Lastly, I read a new short story I wrote on Monday, “Enemy At The Gate”, a humorous account about disaster striking during the 2010 Winter Games. Everyone laughed at the end, so I think I accomplished what I wanted with it. The next day I submitted it to Eclectica Magazine and it has been accepted for their Issue #8, which comes out Jan. 21st, perfect timing just before the games. Thanks to Jim for their website address.
Next Meeting will be Wednesday, December 2nd, at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa
Six of us braved the storm on Wednesday and met to honour The Muse.
Bob was feeling stressed over all the electronics turmoil at his house during the past few weeks. But he phoned me since Wednesday to say his computer is up and running again and he could now receive his email. I told him he must write a story about his computer and T.V. saga of despair.
Margaret read her next chapter in “Coffin & Dye”. Dye had leased a small, shabby office over Reeds Books, for the new partnership of Coffin & Dye, Ghost Eradicators. Coffin was not impressed that Dye had signed a lease for 2 years. However, Dye had also placed an ad in the local paper and their first customer arrived, a Jordan Fox. Margaret has also sent an item to Today’s Seniors Newsmagazine, which she thinks will appear in their December issue.
Ann brought a poem to read that she said was a happy piece compared to the darker ones she had read previously. She read “The Gray Goose Goober”, a humorous animal story in meter and rhyme that illustrates the circle of life and death and also points out the need of animals, too, for familial companionship.
Jason had re-written, again, his Chapter 1 and read it to us. This time it captivated listeners right from the very beginning, portraying a frustrated sexual encounter between Greg and Jodie, and also exposing the fanciful menace that will permeate this urban fantasy he is writing. We were spellbound as he read and we all gave him two thumbs up on it.
Jim read some erotica for seniors, a short story called “Dirty Old Man” which portrays the very lusty sex lives of a married couple in their 80s and the acceptance and emulation of same by all their offspring. Jim also said his story “Janina”, about a young woman’s struggles on a houseboat during a violent storm, has been accepted by Eclectica Magazine for publication in their Issue #7. Congratulations from all of us.
Lastly, I read a new short story I wrote on Monday, “Enemy At The Gate”, a humorous account about disaster striking during the 2010 Winter Games. Everyone laughed at the end, so I think I accomplished what I wanted with it. The next day I submitted it to Eclectica Magazine and it has been accepted for their Issue #8, which comes out Jan. 21st, perfect timing just before the games. Thanks to Jim for their website address.
Next Meeting will be Wednesday, December 2nd, at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa
Friday, November 6, 2009
THE REVIEW
WINTER’S APPROACHING
With both the time change and wet and stormy weather, I’m afraid there’s no stopping Old Man Winter from arriving soon. But the threat of his appearance didn’t stop The Rams from meeting again last Wednesday. There were eight of us here to honour The Muse.
Margaret read first, her second chapter called “A Day Of Judgement”. Coffin has a sleepless night after Dye made him a job offer and arises with a pounding headache. He discovers a message from Dye to say he has leased office space for the ghost hunting business, and asks Coffin to meet him there. Coffin rides his bike over and is quite pleased to find the leased office space is luxurious, and has a gorgeous secretary. When Dye arrives, Coffin tells him, of course he’ll work with him. But then Dye explains that Coffin was at the wrong address. Margaret also had a picture of the Rolls Royce that Dye drives, from the 1930s.
Danny said he is going to chop his long manuscript into 2, and Book 1 will deal with the time he spent on the racing circuit. He read a section of Book 1 called “Taking One For The Team”, which details the lurid sex lives of those who traveled the circuit and congregated on the infield.
Bob wrote a fan letter to Mr. John Henry, principle owner of the Boston Red Sox, telling him why he had been a happy fan since the mid 1940s. Danny thinks the letter will result in Bob receiving some free offering for such long-time loyalty.
I read two items that I will be submitting to the anthology the Murrayville Library Writers’ Group is producing. One was my poem “Sweet Betrayal”, about a man’s obsessive love for a woman who turns on him and kills him, only “she” is the bottle. The second piece was a first person humorous prose piece about my ‘Honey’ finally going to see his cabin up in the Caribou in March one year.
Jim read a chapter from the 3rd book of his trilogy where he introduces a new character who will work for Joseph and his pregnant wife in a company that uses green technology in construction to “better’ the world. The new character is a young Aztec woman who grew up and achieved an education in spite of the racism she experienced where she lived in Mexico. Both the green technology and the issue of racism are timely topics in today’s world. And the way Jim portrayed her first day at a secondary school vividly describes the culture she came from.
Jason, when he first signed on for the Surrey International Writers’ Conference, had made an appointment with an agent, but later thought that might be premature and didn’t know how to get out of trying to sell an unfinished product. However, at the conference, he learned the agent was a no-show and he was given a time slot with another agent. But at the meeting, he learned the second agent only handled non-fiction. Strange how prayers are answered. However, he did learn his particular genre is called urban fantasy. Now he has a definite pigeon-hole to define his work.
Gemma’s “Collateral Damage” is in the November issue of Today’s Senior News Magazine. Two thumbs up, Gemma!
Ron had done some research on Hungary from the 1800s and brought a print-out to show Gemma, as he couldn’t read it. It was in Hungarian, and Gemma is our official translator of Hungarian into English.
November 11 is fast approaching. I hope you buy a poppy to remember the fallen and to support the living vets.
Next meeting will be Wednesday, November 18th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Look forward to seeing you then. Bring your Muse, your talent and your love of the literate. I’ll supply ice water to drench all egos and cookies with calories to inflate them back up again.
Lisa
With both the time change and wet and stormy weather, I’m afraid there’s no stopping Old Man Winter from arriving soon. But the threat of his appearance didn’t stop The Rams from meeting again last Wednesday. There were eight of us here to honour The Muse.
Margaret read first, her second chapter called “A Day Of Judgement”. Coffin has a sleepless night after Dye made him a job offer and arises with a pounding headache. He discovers a message from Dye to say he has leased office space for the ghost hunting business, and asks Coffin to meet him there. Coffin rides his bike over and is quite pleased to find the leased office space is luxurious, and has a gorgeous secretary. When Dye arrives, Coffin tells him, of course he’ll work with him. But then Dye explains that Coffin was at the wrong address. Margaret also had a picture of the Rolls Royce that Dye drives, from the 1930s.
Danny said he is going to chop his long manuscript into 2, and Book 1 will deal with the time he spent on the racing circuit. He read a section of Book 1 called “Taking One For The Team”, which details the lurid sex lives of those who traveled the circuit and congregated on the infield.
Bob wrote a fan letter to Mr. John Henry, principle owner of the Boston Red Sox, telling him why he had been a happy fan since the mid 1940s. Danny thinks the letter will result in Bob receiving some free offering for such long-time loyalty.
I read two items that I will be submitting to the anthology the Murrayville Library Writers’ Group is producing. One was my poem “Sweet Betrayal”, about a man’s obsessive love for a woman who turns on him and kills him, only “she” is the bottle. The second piece was a first person humorous prose piece about my ‘Honey’ finally going to see his cabin up in the Caribou in March one year.
Jim read a chapter from the 3rd book of his trilogy where he introduces a new character who will work for Joseph and his pregnant wife in a company that uses green technology in construction to “better’ the world. The new character is a young Aztec woman who grew up and achieved an education in spite of the racism she experienced where she lived in Mexico. Both the green technology and the issue of racism are timely topics in today’s world. And the way Jim portrayed her first day at a secondary school vividly describes the culture she came from.
Jason, when he first signed on for the Surrey International Writers’ Conference, had made an appointment with an agent, but later thought that might be premature and didn’t know how to get out of trying to sell an unfinished product. However, at the conference, he learned the agent was a no-show and he was given a time slot with another agent. But at the meeting, he learned the second agent only handled non-fiction. Strange how prayers are answered. However, he did learn his particular genre is called urban fantasy. Now he has a definite pigeon-hole to define his work.
Gemma’s “Collateral Damage” is in the November issue of Today’s Senior News Magazine. Two thumbs up, Gemma!
Ron had done some research on Hungary from the 1800s and brought a print-out to show Gemma, as he couldn’t read it. It was in Hungarian, and Gemma is our official translator of Hungarian into English.
November 11 is fast approaching. I hope you buy a poppy to remember the fallen and to support the living vets.
Next meeting will be Wednesday, November 18th at 7:00 p.m. here at my place. Look forward to seeing you then. Bring your Muse, your talent and your love of the literate. I’ll supply ice water to drench all egos and cookies with calories to inflate them back up again.
Lisa
Saturday, October 24, 2009
THE REVIEW
IN THE DOGHOUSE
As all our male members started arriving Wednesday, I was afraid I would be the only woman present. But then Margaret and Ann both arrived and we were a total of six men and three women. What an awesome group!
I am in the doghouse for a critique I did of a rewrite Jason sent me of his first two chapters. He said I totally crushed his self-confidence and I am repentant. Since I have never read a single fantasy novel, I have no business critiquing one. According to Ann, this genre is usually written with almost its own vernacular, which I know nothing about. It is a genre I have absolutely no experience with and so I ask if any of our members have resource material for Jason, to please forward it to him. Thank you so much.
I mentioned a Vancouver Sun article about the Kindle, a digital format for reading books. One problem seemed to be that page numbers were not apparent in the application, and so it was difficult to mark how far you had read in a particular novel. Ron did say he thought use of the Kindle in Canada was still not available. Does anybody know for sure about that?
After drawing up a timeline for an anthology that will be produced by the Murrayville Library Writers’ Group, I shared the steps involved. It’s a long process from start to finish.
Margaret read her umpteenth draft of Chapter 1 in “Coffin & Dye”. This draft read extremely well and the chapter unfolds mostly through conversation between the two men, a much better way than the previous narrative form. And of course, Margaret’s detailed descriptions bring that whole place and period of history to life for us.
Danny read his latest composition for his book, trying to verify how the family dynamics and sibling rivalry caused family dysfunction. Any specific problems or incidents mentioned were very interesting, but there needed to be more of them. This piece still needs some work to delete some of the rant and analyzing, and put in more actual people and incidents to help the reader connect with parties involved.
Robin joined us after a long hiatus. He explained with writing he likes to start with poetry and eventually work it into a song. Much of his writing comes from a desire to “play”, and is often light and humourous. He read us a recent poem, “Beware! Toe Shrapnel Flies!”, a funny and very exaggerated account of what happens when he gets his wife to cut his toenails.
Jason read Chapter 4 of his novel, and this account has an angel writing a journal of events, explaining the necessary key had been delivered to the boys. This chapter evoked a lot of interest and supplied suspense. Everyone wanted to know what would happen next.
Ann read a poem entitle “Disclosure”. It is a nineteen year old daughter telling her mother about the sexual abuse she suffered from her father when she was aged 5 to 11, while the mother was often passed out drunk. The mother doesn’t believe her and accuses her of collusion with her sister, saying they are both liars. The mother tells the daughter she has to leave the home. This poem is a very stark portrayal of family trauma and is dynamic enough to win a contest, I’m sure.
Ron read the next chapter in his novel. We see the csendorseg (mounted police in Hungary) confront the protesting peasant farmers’ union. They charge the peasants and a small boy is run down and seriously injured. The policeman responsible stops in concern. The child’s father appears and is distraught. The policeman is ordered by his commander to arrest the father, but refuses to do so and allows the father to leave, carrying his child. (This policeman will also emigrate to Canada.) This was a great way to show the conflict between rich and poor in Hungary.
Jim read his first chapter in his novel “Dimensions”. This portrays a married couple with children fighting and breaking up. But as the husband is now forty, he is “pulled” out of that incarnation and plopped into another. This chapter was well written and much sleeker in the storytelling. Jim said he spent time removing adverbs and adjectives and consequently the story stands up much better.
Also, Jim has kindly forwarded to all an article on manuscript formatting which is well worth reading for anyone submitting their writing to agents or publishers. The competition is fierce, and the formatting of the manuscript is its dress code. If it isn’t dressed properly, it won’t get in the door.
This weekend, Jason and Ron are participants in the Surrey International Writers’ Conference. Hope they get as much as they hoped from it. And I did ask they bring back the free handout information for the rest of us, things like the booklet from the Association of Book Publishers of B.C. It’s always good to have the latest news from local publishers.
Next meeting will be Wednesday, November 4th here at my place at 7:00 p.m. Hopefully Jason will let me out of the doghouse by then. Happy writing in the meantime.
Lisa
As all our male members started arriving Wednesday, I was afraid I would be the only woman present. But then Margaret and Ann both arrived and we were a total of six men and three women. What an awesome group!
I am in the doghouse for a critique I did of a rewrite Jason sent me of his first two chapters. He said I totally crushed his self-confidence and I am repentant. Since I have never read a single fantasy novel, I have no business critiquing one. According to Ann, this genre is usually written with almost its own vernacular, which I know nothing about. It is a genre I have absolutely no experience with and so I ask if any of our members have resource material for Jason, to please forward it to him. Thank you so much.
I mentioned a Vancouver Sun article about the Kindle, a digital format for reading books. One problem seemed to be that page numbers were not apparent in the application, and so it was difficult to mark how far you had read in a particular novel. Ron did say he thought use of the Kindle in Canada was still not available. Does anybody know for sure about that?
After drawing up a timeline for an anthology that will be produced by the Murrayville Library Writers’ Group, I shared the steps involved. It’s a long process from start to finish.
Margaret read her umpteenth draft of Chapter 1 in “Coffin & Dye”. This draft read extremely well and the chapter unfolds mostly through conversation between the two men, a much better way than the previous narrative form. And of course, Margaret’s detailed descriptions bring that whole place and period of history to life for us.
Danny read his latest composition for his book, trying to verify how the family dynamics and sibling rivalry caused family dysfunction. Any specific problems or incidents mentioned were very interesting, but there needed to be more of them. This piece still needs some work to delete some of the rant and analyzing, and put in more actual people and incidents to help the reader connect with parties involved.
Robin joined us after a long hiatus. He explained with writing he likes to start with poetry and eventually work it into a song. Much of his writing comes from a desire to “play”, and is often light and humourous. He read us a recent poem, “Beware! Toe Shrapnel Flies!”, a funny and very exaggerated account of what happens when he gets his wife to cut his toenails.
Jason read Chapter 4 of his novel, and this account has an angel writing a journal of events, explaining the necessary key had been delivered to the boys. This chapter evoked a lot of interest and supplied suspense. Everyone wanted to know what would happen next.
Ann read a poem entitle “Disclosure”. It is a nineteen year old daughter telling her mother about the sexual abuse she suffered from her father when she was aged 5 to 11, while the mother was often passed out drunk. The mother doesn’t believe her and accuses her of collusion with her sister, saying they are both liars. The mother tells the daughter she has to leave the home. This poem is a very stark portrayal of family trauma and is dynamic enough to win a contest, I’m sure.
Ron read the next chapter in his novel. We see the csendorseg (mounted police in Hungary) confront the protesting peasant farmers’ union. They charge the peasants and a small boy is run down and seriously injured. The policeman responsible stops in concern. The child’s father appears and is distraught. The policeman is ordered by his commander to arrest the father, but refuses to do so and allows the father to leave, carrying his child. (This policeman will also emigrate to Canada.) This was a great way to show the conflict between rich and poor in Hungary.
Jim read his first chapter in his novel “Dimensions”. This portrays a married couple with children fighting and breaking up. But as the husband is now forty, he is “pulled” out of that incarnation and plopped into another. This chapter was well written and much sleeker in the storytelling. Jim said he spent time removing adverbs and adjectives and consequently the story stands up much better.
Also, Jim has kindly forwarded to all an article on manuscript formatting which is well worth reading for anyone submitting their writing to agents or publishers. The competition is fierce, and the formatting of the manuscript is its dress code. If it isn’t dressed properly, it won’t get in the door.
This weekend, Jason and Ron are participants in the Surrey International Writers’ Conference. Hope they get as much as they hoped from it. And I did ask they bring back the free handout information for the rest of us, things like the booklet from the Association of Book Publishers of B.C. It’s always good to have the latest news from local publishers.
Next meeting will be Wednesday, November 4th here at my place at 7:00 p.m. Hopefully Jason will let me out of the doghouse by then. Happy writing in the meantime.
Lisa
Friday, October 9, 2009
THE REVIEW
OCTOBER WRITERS
Eight writers convened Wednesday night to deliberate, debate and confabulate the merits of our written words. Ann Berrie was the new face in the crowd and we welcome her to this flock of Rams.
Margaret read first. She had re-written chapter one of “Coffin and Dye”, and now had most of the story told through dialogue as opposed to the former narrative style. Much better flow.
Bob has given up the idea of finishing the complete history of the jewellery business in B.C. and will now concentrate of finishing the sections he is familiar with in manufacturing and retail. He read two paragraphs about the vocation of jewellery sales people and the territories they covered. Another paragraph dealt with the number of watch-maker jewellers who took up their craft on returning to civilian life at the end of WWII and then retired en masse in the 1980s, which resulted in large chain stores stepping in and buying their inventories and locations.
Ron read the rest of the chapter he had started last time. Joseph and his friends are still in Keszthely, Hungary and walk to the monastery where they meet with the booking Agent to learn about emigrating to Canada. They are offered 160 acres of free farmland, but Joseph is skeptical and starts asking questions. What is the winter like? Is the winter longer and the growing season shorter? Has the Agent been to Canada? What are the costs? When are they due? What exactly do they cover? The Agent had answers, but Joseph was still dubious about his honesty.
I read a rhyming poem in Iambic Tetrameter, called “My Lady Muse”, which I wrote that afternoon because I hadn’t written anything else. I did read once that if you are suffering writer’s block, then you can at least write about not writing. So I did.
Jim has outlined the next 4 chapters of “Dimensions”, to carry on from the short story he read last time. He is also working on the trilogy he had already written.
Ann brought two of her poems to share with us, both razor sharp depictions of disturbing images. The first poem, which Jason read, was “From Now On” and is the distressing experience of a young girl being raped and realizing that continuing incestuous abuse would be her fate. The other poem, untitled and not ended, was a stark picture of the victims during the holocaust. These are powerful pieces that need to find a much wider audience to appreciate them.
Gemma brought her poem, “Let It Go”, to read. It is discourse between a single apple and the very old tree that produced it, with the young apple wanting its freedom, but the tree refusing to let go until the fall when its leaves were gone. Parent and child?
After the last meeting, Jim and I did a lot of emailing and online editing of his short story “Dimensions” without using any paper. He emailed the story to me, I turned on Tracking Changes under Tools, made the changes I thought it needed, and emailed it back. When he got it, he went under View and turned on Markup so he could see the changes I’d made, which appeared in red. Then he made more changes and sent it back to me and I turned on Markup and could see my changes in red and his in blue. And for every party that makes changes, another color is used. A very interesting process and good to know.
Gemma also brought submission guideline from Whitmore Publishing, a company accepting submission for standard publishing (not self-publishing or vanity publishing). You can find their guidelines at submissions@whitmorepublishing.com .
Jason was asking for help in understanding more effectively the elements of fantasy fiction novels. If anyone has any resources to share, please contact Jason. His address will be on the email I send with the link to this Review. You can find it by clicking on File and then on Properties.
Next meeting will be here at my place, Wednesday, October 21st at 7:00 p.m. Look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa
Eight writers convened Wednesday night to deliberate, debate and confabulate the merits of our written words. Ann Berrie was the new face in the crowd and we welcome her to this flock of Rams.
Margaret read first. She had re-written chapter one of “Coffin and Dye”, and now had most of the story told through dialogue as opposed to the former narrative style. Much better flow.
Bob has given up the idea of finishing the complete history of the jewellery business in B.C. and will now concentrate of finishing the sections he is familiar with in manufacturing and retail. He read two paragraphs about the vocation of jewellery sales people and the territories they covered. Another paragraph dealt with the number of watch-maker jewellers who took up their craft on returning to civilian life at the end of WWII and then retired en masse in the 1980s, which resulted in large chain stores stepping in and buying their inventories and locations.
Ron read the rest of the chapter he had started last time. Joseph and his friends are still in Keszthely, Hungary and walk to the monastery where they meet with the booking Agent to learn about emigrating to Canada. They are offered 160 acres of free farmland, but Joseph is skeptical and starts asking questions. What is the winter like? Is the winter longer and the growing season shorter? Has the Agent been to Canada? What are the costs? When are they due? What exactly do they cover? The Agent had answers, but Joseph was still dubious about his honesty.
I read a rhyming poem in Iambic Tetrameter, called “My Lady Muse”, which I wrote that afternoon because I hadn’t written anything else. I did read once that if you are suffering writer’s block, then you can at least write about not writing. So I did.
Jim has outlined the next 4 chapters of “Dimensions”, to carry on from the short story he read last time. He is also working on the trilogy he had already written.
Ann brought two of her poems to share with us, both razor sharp depictions of disturbing images. The first poem, which Jason read, was “From Now On” and is the distressing experience of a young girl being raped and realizing that continuing incestuous abuse would be her fate. The other poem, untitled and not ended, was a stark picture of the victims during the holocaust. These are powerful pieces that need to find a much wider audience to appreciate them.
Gemma brought her poem, “Let It Go”, to read. It is discourse between a single apple and the very old tree that produced it, with the young apple wanting its freedom, but the tree refusing to let go until the fall when its leaves were gone. Parent and child?
After the last meeting, Jim and I did a lot of emailing and online editing of his short story “Dimensions” without using any paper. He emailed the story to me, I turned on Tracking Changes under Tools, made the changes I thought it needed, and emailed it back. When he got it, he went under View and turned on Markup so he could see the changes I’d made, which appeared in red. Then he made more changes and sent it back to me and I turned on Markup and could see my changes in red and his in blue. And for every party that makes changes, another color is used. A very interesting process and good to know.
Gemma also brought submission guideline from Whitmore Publishing, a company accepting submission for standard publishing (not self-publishing or vanity publishing). You can find their guidelines at submissions@whitmorepublishing.com .
Jason was asking for help in understanding more effectively the elements of fantasy fiction novels. If anyone has any resources to share, please contact Jason. His address will be on the email I send with the link to this Review. You can find it by clicking on File and then on Properties.
Next meeting will be here at my place, Wednesday, October 21st at 7:00 p.m. Look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa
Sunday, September 20, 2009
THE REVIEW
SEPTEMBER SEVEN
Wednesday saw another wonderful meeting with seven of us present: Bob, Margaret, Gemma, Jim, Jason, Ron and myself.
Bob has recently read a book called “Sweet Francaise”, about WWII in France. The author died before she finished the book, and the daughter later had it published. But the author had left notes on changes she wanted to make to her manuscript and they were included in the published version as a 16 page appendix. Now that is due diligence as an author, making notes on changes that should be made.
Margaret read her first chapter in her new book, “Coffin and Dye”. These two characters in later life meet up in a fish and chip shop and recall their school days together. We learn Detective Coffin is a widower and that Sir Donald Dye banishes ghosts. The two begin to chat about working together.
Gemma read a personal piece called “Collateral Damage”, about how she incurred her current injuries. She was walking Heidi on a leash when two other dogs approached aggressively and in the turmoil, Gemma still held the leash and ended up on the ground, with back injuries and dog bites. She is slowly recovering and will submit this piece to Today’s Senior Newsmagazine. So keep your eye out for it.
Jim read a revision of “Dimensions”, which he intends to submit to Writers’ Digest Short Story Contest. Some of us made suggestions and Jim has since rewritten again and sent us his 6th draft. The piece has really taken shape.
Ron read Chapter 2 of his novel. We see Joseph deciding to go with other friends to town to meet with an Agent from the North Atlantic Trading Co., who was recruiting immigrants to Canada. The group left early in the morning and walked 4 hours to town. They went first to view the Palace, and became upset with the disparity between rich and poor. In unison, they all peed on the fence.
Jason read us the end section of Chapter 2, still at the funeral reception in the backyard. A stranger with a German accent tells the boys he wants to show them something. Greg follows the stranger, and Dave unwillingly follows his brother. The stranger goes to his car parked on the road, a 1972 Olds Delta 88. He gives the boys a key and tells them to beware the dragon. We tend to feel this is the real beginning of the story as the action draws us right in at this point. Jason said with many rejections already received he needed to rethink his story.
I read the beginning chapter of my new novel, which I’m calling “Murder” as the working title. The first chapter is mostly background info to show setting and main characters from the previous novel now here in this one. But there is mention of a rapist, twice, which is where the mystery begins. I had some interesting experiences doing research. Wanting to know when the MSA News of Abbotsford changed its name to Abbotsford News, I called the paper. Can you believe it? Nobody there could tell me. I then went to the FVR Library and “Ask A Librarian” online. They got back to me the next day. Also wanting to get some info on restoration procedures for smoke damage, I called Edenvale Restoration. They told me to call their head office in Toronto. So I went online and found the info I wanted from another company. Another question I had was where would a seventeen year old from Abbotsford be held in custody after being charged with an offence. Since he was injured before that, I also wanted to know if he would have had a police guard in hospital. My brother put me in touch with a court clerk who canvassed several JPs and co-workers to get me the answers. I have now organized a 3” binder to hold all the pieces I am collecting for this latest literary endeavor.
Susan recently had an article in St. John’s Telegram about the Terry Fox Run, and will have another one on the collapse of the Berlin Wall published soon. She has also sent out two simultaneous submissions for her young adult novel “Geofind”. If you ever want to know anything about Newfoundland, ask Susan. She’s our East Coast Correspondent.
Members present on Wednesday were saying they find it hard to critique effectively without the written version to look at, and would also appreciate having time beforehand to read the pieces being read. Consequently, they have asked that those planning to read please email their chosen writings to them ahead of time. Can that be done?
Next meeting will be at 7:00 p.m., Wednesday, October 7th, here at my place. Really look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa
Wednesday saw another wonderful meeting with seven of us present: Bob, Margaret, Gemma, Jim, Jason, Ron and myself.
Bob has recently read a book called “Sweet Francaise”, about WWII in France. The author died before she finished the book, and the daughter later had it published. But the author had left notes on changes she wanted to make to her manuscript and they were included in the published version as a 16 page appendix. Now that is due diligence as an author, making notes on changes that should be made.
Margaret read her first chapter in her new book, “Coffin and Dye”. These two characters in later life meet up in a fish and chip shop and recall their school days together. We learn Detective Coffin is a widower and that Sir Donald Dye banishes ghosts. The two begin to chat about working together.
Gemma read a personal piece called “Collateral Damage”, about how she incurred her current injuries. She was walking Heidi on a leash when two other dogs approached aggressively and in the turmoil, Gemma still held the leash and ended up on the ground, with back injuries and dog bites. She is slowly recovering and will submit this piece to Today’s Senior Newsmagazine. So keep your eye out for it.
Jim read a revision of “Dimensions”, which he intends to submit to Writers’ Digest Short Story Contest. Some of us made suggestions and Jim has since rewritten again and sent us his 6th draft. The piece has really taken shape.
Ron read Chapter 2 of his novel. We see Joseph deciding to go with other friends to town to meet with an Agent from the North Atlantic Trading Co., who was recruiting immigrants to Canada. The group left early in the morning and walked 4 hours to town. They went first to view the Palace, and became upset with the disparity between rich and poor. In unison, they all peed on the fence.
Jason read us the end section of Chapter 2, still at the funeral reception in the backyard. A stranger with a German accent tells the boys he wants to show them something. Greg follows the stranger, and Dave unwillingly follows his brother. The stranger goes to his car parked on the road, a 1972 Olds Delta 88. He gives the boys a key and tells them to beware the dragon. We tend to feel this is the real beginning of the story as the action draws us right in at this point. Jason said with many rejections already received he needed to rethink his story.
I read the beginning chapter of my new novel, which I’m calling “Murder” as the working title. The first chapter is mostly background info to show setting and main characters from the previous novel now here in this one. But there is mention of a rapist, twice, which is where the mystery begins. I had some interesting experiences doing research. Wanting to know when the MSA News of Abbotsford changed its name to Abbotsford News, I called the paper. Can you believe it? Nobody there could tell me. I then went to the FVR Library and “Ask A Librarian” online. They got back to me the next day. Also wanting to get some info on restoration procedures for smoke damage, I called Edenvale Restoration. They told me to call their head office in Toronto. So I went online and found the info I wanted from another company. Another question I had was where would a seventeen year old from Abbotsford be held in custody after being charged with an offence. Since he was injured before that, I also wanted to know if he would have had a police guard in hospital. My brother put me in touch with a court clerk who canvassed several JPs and co-workers to get me the answers. I have now organized a 3” binder to hold all the pieces I am collecting for this latest literary endeavor.
Susan recently had an article in St. John’s Telegram about the Terry Fox Run, and will have another one on the collapse of the Berlin Wall published soon. She has also sent out two simultaneous submissions for her young adult novel “Geofind”. If you ever want to know anything about Newfoundland, ask Susan. She’s our East Coast Correspondent.
Members present on Wednesday were saying they find it hard to critique effectively without the written version to look at, and would also appreciate having time beforehand to read the pieces being read. Consequently, they have asked that those planning to read please email their chosen writings to them ahead of time. Can that be done?
Next meeting will be at 7:00 p.m., Wednesday, October 7th, here at my place. Really look forward to seeing you then.
Lisa
Saturday, September 5, 2009
THE REVIEW
ADVERSARIAL ADVERBS
Jason, Ron, Bob, Jim, Danny and Margaret all joined me Wednesday night for another awesome meeting. They just keep getting better and better, both the meetings and the writers. Unfortunately, Gemma was unable to join us as she is recovering from injuries recently suffered handling her dog. Bob and Jim returned copies of her manuscript after reading it, and I have those copies here. We hope Gemma is feeling better and will be able to join us again soon.
I started the meeting with my latest news. My short story, “His Rant”, was short-listed in the Polar Expressions contest, and consequently will be included in their anthology “Beneath The Canopy”. This story was written several years ago when we were drawing weekly writing prompts from The Bucket, and this prompt was about somebody living over a 3-car garage. I tweaked it so the word count worked for the contest, and there you have it. Don’t throw out anything you write. You never know when some opportunity may arise for submitting it.
Margaret read the Epilogue from “Blow Up The Castle”, which tells us what happened to the three reverends after 1936. During WWII and after, their lives changed considerably. Rev. Peabody and Marie married and went to live with his nephew Hamish, in the castle. Rev. Peasly emigrated to Canada after Barker died. And Rev. Peacock, Marigold, and Joey the parrot moved to the seaside. All three reverends passed away on the same day. And those walking the beach can still hear Joey calling “Blow up the castle!”
Danny read his chapter “Did It Hurt Right Away?” While working the Nascar infield, Danny suffered a badly broken left foot when a 400 lb. battleaxe (I don’t know what that is?) fell on it. This chapter gave us very graphic descriptions of the pain and gory medical procedures when the bones became infected. Fortunately, Danny still has his foot, attached to his leg, that is.
Ron read us his Chapter 1, where we are introduced to Joseph and his wife, Julia, in Hungary. They are farmers, in their fifties, with five children aged 12 to 21. Although they own some land of their own, they work for a large farm to earn enough to support themselves. We see them cutting the grain with scythes, the method of harvest at that time. But Joseph is told there won’t be much work the coming year, as the large farm is bringing in machinery to do what many men did by hand. That’s when the decision is made to emigrate to Canada, where free land is being offered.
Jason read us Chapter 3 of his novel. The setting is the reception after the funeral. The father removes himself from the crowd and sits alone. Laura plays hostess to a number of elderly friends of the deceased. The two sons behave like typical teenaged boys. Greg is snarky to his father. Dave criticizes him. The two argue. Greg is hot for Jody, a neighbourhood girl, and he asks her if she believes in heaven. This is a difficult question for her as her parents are both dead. The two wrestle, but Dave interrupts them. This chapter shows us more of the family dynamics.
Jim shared with us five different drafts of the same sentence, where he was trying to eliminate adverbs. The original sentence was: When she quickly turned her head, her hair seemed to stretch and elongate then as quickly return to its tightly packed state as her curls fought centrifugal force. The final sentence read: With each quick turn of the head, her hair stretched and elongated then snapped back to its original state. What a process rewriting can be! We agreed maybe we should all go and read some Hemingway to learn about succinct condensation of verbiage. Jim admitted he had just reread “The Old Man And The Sea”. Hilarious. The following is Jim’s journaling about being plagued by adverbs:
Adverbs are my enemy! As soon as I wrestle one to the ground there is another before me, taunting. It is a never-ending fight and I tire of the battle. What else can I do? I struggle on and on, forcing one to submit and then another.
One day I will defeat them! I will complete a manuscript barren of the (bloody) buggers. Then I will laugh at them, when I have faced them all down.
Right on, Jim. We’re all behind you!
Bob didn’t have time to write anything between baseball games, but he kindly fixed glasses of ice water, and served cookies and banana bread for me. He is always a help in that department. Many thanks.
And thanks to all those who donated for the domain name. Much appreciated.
Next meeting will be here at my place at 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 16th. Hope to see you then, and by all means, bring your Muse.
Lisa
Jason, Ron, Bob, Jim, Danny and Margaret all joined me Wednesday night for another awesome meeting. They just keep getting better and better, both the meetings and the writers. Unfortunately, Gemma was unable to join us as she is recovering from injuries recently suffered handling her dog. Bob and Jim returned copies of her manuscript after reading it, and I have those copies here. We hope Gemma is feeling better and will be able to join us again soon.
I started the meeting with my latest news. My short story, “His Rant”, was short-listed in the Polar Expressions contest, and consequently will be included in their anthology “Beneath The Canopy”. This story was written several years ago when we were drawing weekly writing prompts from The Bucket, and this prompt was about somebody living over a 3-car garage. I tweaked it so the word count worked for the contest, and there you have it. Don’t throw out anything you write. You never know when some opportunity may arise for submitting it.
Margaret read the Epilogue from “Blow Up The Castle”, which tells us what happened to the three reverends after 1936. During WWII and after, their lives changed considerably. Rev. Peabody and Marie married and went to live with his nephew Hamish, in the castle. Rev. Peasly emigrated to Canada after Barker died. And Rev. Peacock, Marigold, and Joey the parrot moved to the seaside. All three reverends passed away on the same day. And those walking the beach can still hear Joey calling “Blow up the castle!”
Danny read his chapter “Did It Hurt Right Away?” While working the Nascar infield, Danny suffered a badly broken left foot when a 400 lb. battleaxe (I don’t know what that is?) fell on it. This chapter gave us very graphic descriptions of the pain and gory medical procedures when the bones became infected. Fortunately, Danny still has his foot, attached to his leg, that is.
Ron read us his Chapter 1, where we are introduced to Joseph and his wife, Julia, in Hungary. They are farmers, in their fifties, with five children aged 12 to 21. Although they own some land of their own, they work for a large farm to earn enough to support themselves. We see them cutting the grain with scythes, the method of harvest at that time. But Joseph is told there won’t be much work the coming year, as the large farm is bringing in machinery to do what many men did by hand. That’s when the decision is made to emigrate to Canada, where free land is being offered.
Jason read us Chapter 3 of his novel. The setting is the reception after the funeral. The father removes himself from the crowd and sits alone. Laura plays hostess to a number of elderly friends of the deceased. The two sons behave like typical teenaged boys. Greg is snarky to his father. Dave criticizes him. The two argue. Greg is hot for Jody, a neighbourhood girl, and he asks her if she believes in heaven. This is a difficult question for her as her parents are both dead. The two wrestle, but Dave interrupts them. This chapter shows us more of the family dynamics.
Jim shared with us five different drafts of the same sentence, where he was trying to eliminate adverbs. The original sentence was: When she quickly turned her head, her hair seemed to stretch and elongate then as quickly return to its tightly packed state as her curls fought centrifugal force. The final sentence read: With each quick turn of the head, her hair stretched and elongated then snapped back to its original state. What a process rewriting can be! We agreed maybe we should all go and read some Hemingway to learn about succinct condensation of verbiage. Jim admitted he had just reread “The Old Man And The Sea”. Hilarious. The following is Jim’s journaling about being plagued by adverbs:
Adverbs are my enemy! As soon as I wrestle one to the ground there is another before me, taunting. It is a never-ending fight and I tire of the battle. What else can I do? I struggle on and on, forcing one to submit and then another.
One day I will defeat them! I will complete a manuscript barren of the (bloody) buggers. Then I will laugh at them, when I have faced them all down.
Right on, Jim. We’re all behind you!
Bob didn’t have time to write anything between baseball games, but he kindly fixed glasses of ice water, and served cookies and banana bread for me. He is always a help in that department. Many thanks.
And thanks to all those who donated for the domain name. Much appreciated.
Next meeting will be here at my place at 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 16th. Hope to see you then, and by all means, bring your Muse.
Lisa
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